avocado8

Weddings

This weekend Al and I were in San Francisco for the beautiful wedding of two friends. When the officiant asked the bride's father, who walked her down the aisle, "who gives this woman in holy matrimony?", the father replied in a booming voice, "she gives herself!" All RIGHT!! As the bride and groom joined hands, the officiant said some things about marriage that I can't begin to articulate now but that were so true they made my heart burst and shoot into my throat—which made my eyes water, of course. Actually, the whole event seemed designed to make my heart swell and my eyes water. The reception was on the 32nd floor of the Westin St. Francis, in a room that featured panoramic views of a city I love (and that the bridge and groom do, too, of course), and the first dance was to I Left My Heart in San Francisco. <sob!> My heart is swelling now just thinking of it, just looking at this snapshot of love.

It was a perfect little weekend that reminded us of what we love and miss about San Francisco (just as we've finally gotten used to Philadelphia, ironically). We stayed in SOMA, near the ballpark, and it was cool to see how that area has grown and improved. We had looked at some lofts on either side or Pac Bell (now SBC) Park early last year, and it's still our first choice for where we'd want to live if we moved back to California. (I think it's more likely that we'll live somewhere else—somewhere other than Philly—before we make our way back to SF, though.) I got to see my friend Kristin and have dessert and coffee at an incredible bakery at 18th and Guerrero (Cafe Tartine—I highly recommend the vanilla cream fruit tarts and the rich chocolate brownies), and together Al and I got to visit our favorite place for dim sum (Ton Kiang) and stuff ourselves silly at the Indian buffet near our old house down on the peninsula (the name has changed from Swagat's to Dastoor, and the food is even better than before). Oh, and we also stocked up on See's chocolates, which can't be found here in Philly. (Is there any doubt now how I've managed to gain almost 30 pounds already with this pregnancy?) Walking around the city and snapping photos inspired me to rebuild the original about town database and add a few more photos to it; I'll add a few more over the coming days.

This coming weekend I'll return to another former home city—Boston—for another wedding. Two friends who have been together since I was a kid are finally getting married, thanks to the Massachusetts Supreme Court's recognizing their right to do so. It's a little shocking to me that so many in this country would want to deny others the love, comfort, and legal rights afforded by marriage. The idea that these two amazing people—who have already been sharing their lives for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, raising children and caring for aging parents, changing jobs and starting businesses, building a nest (and then expanding and remodeling it) for more than 20 years—would be denied the medical decisionmaking, estate planning and inheritance, and other legal rights of spouses is insane to me. Even heterosexual couples who never marry can end up with these rights in many states by virtue of "common law," for pete's sake. This couple's desire to marry *affirms* marriage, strengthens the foundation of our society, inspires others to live lives of love and commitment. I'm eager to witness this affirmation. And I fully expect to cry.