Bathroom Review: Ritz Carlton Philadelphia

Last night Al took me to the Rotunda in the Ritz Carlton Philadelphia to partake of its Friday and Saturday night Chocolate Dessert Buffet (a fabulous birthday present, I must say; if you go, be sure to try the bread pudding with the chocolate sauce). Of course, having walked there while 8 months pregnant and having drunk (decaf) coffee white snarfing down yummy desserts, it wasn't long before I had to pee.

I made my way to the bathrooms just off the Rotunda (behind the elevators on the City Hall side of the building), passed the one marked Gentlemen, and continued down the hall to the one marked Women, which was next to The Vault. Nobody else was in there at the time, so I picked the first stall and entered. (There was plenty of room between the toilet and the stall door, so no need to move to the handicap stall—something I've had to do lately in many bathrooms because there's either not enough room to (a) shut the stall door without banging the belly, or (b) lean forward far enough to heave myself off the toilet seat.)

The first thing I noticed in the stall was that the wallpaper on my right was peeling; the second thing I noticed was that there were no toilet seat covers. The toilet paper was of a decent commercial grade, however, so I made do with that. As I sat down to pee, I heard someone else enter the bathroom; while I completed my quiet tinkle, she poured forth like Niagra Falls. Since the Rotunda also houses a bar, in which many elegantly-dressed Philadelphians were downing Cosmopolitans and martinis, I figured that my neighbor had just had a lot to drink and had held her water a bit too long.

I manged to get up off the seat with little trouble (again, nice spacing between the seat and the stall door) and went to wash my hands. I honestly don't remember what the soap or the faucets were like, because as I looked up in the mirror, I saw the back of a man standing in the handicap stall (the door was wide open). I panicked for a second, thinking, "Jesus, did I go into the wrong bathroom?" No, I'd definitely passed the sign marked 'Gentlemen,' so this had to be the women's bathroom. He must be in the wrong spot.

I quickly reached for a (very nice) rolled washcloth with which to dry my hands; I was hoping to get out of there before he emerged, so he wouldn't be embarrassed. Too late—he started out of the stall, saw me, and immediately popped back inside, drawing the stall door partly closed. I was seeing all this out of the corner of my eye, so I don't think he saw me see him. I stifled a giggle as the door to the bathroom opened, and one of the waitresses from the bar walked in.

Unfortunately, she walked straight to the handicap stall and entered... only to gasp, "oh my! I'm sorry!" when she bumped into the poor guy inside. He was like, "oh no! I'm in the wrong one!" which of course he already knew because he'd seen me. She turned around and headed for another stall, looked at me, started shaking with laughter as I smiled and as the guy, cover hopelessly blown now, emerged from the handicap cubicle.

He continued to express his apologies and bewilderment, and exhorted both of us not to tell anybody as he walked out with me; I said no worries, I wouldn't. So OK, call me a promise-breaker, a flip-flopper, whatever—this was just too funny to keep to myself. And I haven't identified the poor man in any way, so hopefully even if he or his friends or family see this, only he will know I'm talking about him. Anyway, I pointed out the men's room to him, and he slipped in there to wash his hands, while I practically ran back to the Rotunda, laughing all the way, to tell Al.

Ritz-Carlton Philadelphia
Location: 10 Avenue of the Arts (Broad Street)
Shortest route to restroom: Enter from the Market Street/City Hall side, through the doorway under the maroon awning. Restrooms are on your right, in the hallway that leads to The Valult (the cigar bar). Please note that the Women's room is the one directly adjacent to The Vault; the Gentlemen's room is at the Rotunda end of the hall.
Ease of access: Very good.
Quality of facilities: Good. The bathroom is clean and elegant if a bit shabby, with washcloths to dry your hands instead of paper towels or blowers. I didn't see any toilet seat covers, but the commercial-grade toilet paper is of sufficient thickness to line the seat.

Posted by Lori in bathroom reviews and philadelphia at 7:33 AM on October 31, 2004