avocado8

Veep Veep

This is what I hear when Dick Cheney is talking: Blah blah blah murmur murmur blah blah murmur murmur blah blah blah... blah.

This is what I hear when John Edwards is talking: What John Kerry should have said.

Other random observations as I watch the debate:

• When I *am* able to distinguish words while Cheney is talking, he's saying things that should be valid criticisms of Kerry and Edwards—and yet they're falling like punches in a dream. They never seem to land.
• I'm a little unnerved by how Edwards keeps addressing Cheney directly (and I think Cheney finds it downright irritating).
• Edwards is really good at summing up when that red light comes on. And just when I think he's so far off the subject of the question that he's practically on another planet, he somehow turns the ship back toward earth and makes everything he's just said seem relevant by using the keywords from the question. Impressive.
• I'm hating this moderator. Her questions are overly complex and asked too quickly. Bring back slow and steady Jim Lehrer!
• And speaking of the moderator, is it just me, or is she putting Cheney on the spot more than she's putting Edwards on it? Or is Edwards just better at answering the questions (and deflecting the implied criticisms)?
• Gah, what the fuck are you doing, Edwards? Cheney just gave you a golden opportunity on the AIDS question by focusing on the $15 billion the Bush administration appropriated for AIDS treatment *overseas*, when the moderator asked *specifically* about the *domestic* AIDS problem among black men—and then admitting that he didn't know much about the domestic AIDS problem. Instead of jumping on that and talking about domestic AIDS policy, you talked about Africa! IDIOT! Forget what I said before about your ability to come back to the topic at hand. You're starting to suck.
• I think I just figured out why I was hearing "blah blah blah murmur murmur, blah blah, murmur murmur murmur" from Cheney before: he keeps cupping his hands under his chin—and covering the lap mike on his tie.
• Is it bad that we're starting to feel sorry for Cheney? Could the fact that he's starting to seem pathetic work in his favor somehow?
• Was that ripping noise Edwards tearing off strips of paper with which to make spitballs?