avocado8

Hurricane Beanboy

In the time it took me to put on my makeup this morning (i.e., about 4 minutes), the Beaner:

• Emptied the "safe" cupboard in the bathroom of a giant container of Softsoap, a lightbulb, an old (but unused) ovulation predictor stick, and a package of pantiliners
• Dumped the package of pantiliners all over the floor and scattered them as widely as his little hands could manage
• Unraveled an entire roll of toilet paper, then ripped off two sheets and ate them
• Dismantled the standalone toilet paper holder and dumped the various small parts amid the pantiliners
• Raised himself to a standing position with the aid of the toilet
• Flushed the toilet twice
• Worked his way around the toilet to the (very heavy) magazine basket and pushed it aside like it was a Kleenex box
• Grabbed the bag lining the trash can and started reaching for the mounds of icky crap inside.

That's when I finally put down the mascara and called in the National Guard.