avocado8

Wal-Mart

Scene: Paper goods aisle. A woman leans langorously on her cart, shuffling forward one... step... every... 30... seconds. I zip into the aisle from the opposite direction, scanning the packages of toilet paper for my favorite brand as I move toward the woman. I can't see the Ultra version I prefer, so I grab the regular version of the same brand.

Woman, pointing at the package in my hands with her chin: "How much is that?"
Me, tilting sideways to look at the shelf tag: "Um, 6.97."
Woman: How many sheets?
Me, after scanning the package for this information: "362."
Woman: "See? Doesn't have 1000 sheets."
Me: "No, but it's soft."
Woman: "Oh, it's soft, eh?"
Me: "I'm a sucker for softness."