More Clingy Toddler Woes

Is it a good thing or a bad thing for Clingy Toddler Syndrome that I work at home? On the one hand, it means that The Beaner has access to me if he really needs it. On the other hand, when he needs it often, it totally interferes with my work. And then there are moments like right now, when he really needs my attention, and I need to be in a meeting. Thank god I have a headset with a mute button, because he is downstairs with both Aura and Al (who's home sick from work today) screaming hysterically right now.

Meanwhile, I'm getting nothing out of the meeting because the crying is so distracting. Would I be better off just going downstairs and trying to comfort him? I'm not really angry about the current situation, but I *am* frustrated. Incredibly frustrated. And I think if I go downstairs, the frustration will become anger... and that won't do anyone any good. There doesn't seem to be enough of me to go around, and both my work and my child are suffering. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!

Posted by Lori in parenthood and work at 4:13 PM on November 28, 2006


And there you have it. There is no such thing as having it all. Unless "all" includes that kind of frustration.

The Toddler is not generally a clingy sort, but this morning, when I told him (as I always do) that Mummy and Daddy had to leave for work, he burst into tears.

I can count on one hand the number of times that's happened, and the scarcity doesn't make it any easier to deal with. We both almost burst into tears, ourselves.

We had to spend a few extra moments consoling him. Fortunately he was consolable - I don't know what I'd have done, otherwise.

Posted by: ratphooey [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 28, 2006 5:28 PM

This is definitely a new phenomenon, the clinginess. I ended up going down and holding him and talking to him about how all the people in the room loved him very much, but that there were people who were NOT in the room who also loved him: Grandma and Grandpa, Hannah, Aunt Jancy, Aunt Lisa, Jess, etc. I told him that just because someone's not with him in the room doesn't mean that they don't love him, or that they won't see him again real soon. I don't know if the speech helped, but the holding -- and the staying calm and kind and soothing rather than expressing anger or frustration -- did. And I worked for a while after he went to bed, too.

Posted by: Lori [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 29, 2006 11:31 AM

Your instincts are terrific! Going down was exactly the right thing to do. Not to get involved in arguing him out of his need. What you did was satisfy his need: to be reassured; to learn the beginnings of self-soothing; to be held.

Posted by: byjane at November 29, 2006 4:17 PM

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