avocado8

Don't Try This at Home

My parents were here for the weekend, mainly to play with the Beaner and have Mother's Day brunch on Sunday (link goes to PHOTOS), but also so that mom could fill in for a vacationing nanny on Monday. Anyway, on Saturday I asked my dad if he wanted one of the scones I'd just made and a cup of coffee, and he said yes.

So I pulled the mason jar of coffee out of the fridge, poured some in a mug, microwaved it til hot, and had Al bring it downstairs to my dad. I then heard the following float up from the basement playroom:

Dad: Yum, this coffee is really good. Very flavorful and rich. What kind is it?

Al: I suspect it's a special Lori Blend.

It was. And like all of my successful experiments, the results are not necessarily repeatable. However, I try anyway—and here's what anyone else would need to try, too:

Coffee:

• Two spoonfuls (see spoon in foreground for size) of a 3:1 blend of Stew Leonards' Decaf Chocolate Mousse and Stew Leonards' Decaf Kauai, purchased last summer.
• Two and a half spoonfuls of Decaf Kona, given to me for my birthday by Hannah in October.
• Three spoonfuls of Blue Bottle Coffee Decaf Noir, given to me by Kristin last month.

Procedure:

1. Grind the long-expired beans together for approximately 12 seconds in a coffee grinder.
2. Fill the carafe of an automatic drip coffeemaker to the 6-cup line with water from all the half-drunk water bottles you've found in the stroller room, filtered through the Brita pitcher.
3. Pour water into coffeemaker, then line filter cone with paper filter and dump grounds in (make sure to scrape off any clumps that stick to the grinder with the spoon).
4. Close filter cone, replace carafe, and turn coffeemaker on.
5. While coffee is brewing, fill mug 1/3 full with milk and microwave for 40 seconds, if desired. Frothing with crap frothing utensil purchased for $15 from Restoration Hardware optional.
6. Pour coffee into mug.
7. Turn off coffeemaker and allow carafe and coffee to cool.
8. When coffee is at room temperature, pour remainder into mason jar and store in fridge for later microwaving or iced coffee.

Note: If you're planning to drink the coffee primarily over ice, I'd recommend swapping the chocolate blend and Blue Bottle ratios. The extra chocolate flavor is especially nice over ice with whole milk.

Note Note: In case it isn't obvious from the title of this post and the wackiness of the ingredients, YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY. Mine does.