Recent Conversations with the Beaner

The longer I wait to write about these random conversations I've had with the Beaner recently, the more likely I am to forget every damn one of them. Not even the notes I've been leaving myself on napkins and in my iPhone will help; "discussion of whether Thom Yorke is a Radiohead" is enough to make me recall him asking, but I can't remember the actual discussion, which is a shame.

During a visit to Trader Joe's after school last week:

Beaner: Can we get those cookies so I can bring them in for Snack & Flowers?

Me: It's not your turn to do Snack & Flowers, honey. You brought snack in the week before break.

Beaner: I know, but sometimes people bring in cookies when it isn't their turn.

Me: Are you sure? I think I'd like to check with Ms. Erwin first before we buy any cookies.

Beaner: I think we should buy the cookies now and check with Ms. Erwin later. That way we'll be ready.


oh noes!

While walking to school:

Beaner: <gasp!> Look, somebody ripped that Obama poster! Why did they do that?

Me: I'm not sure, honey. Are you an Obama supporter?

Beaner: [nods]

Me: The other choice would be Hillary Clinton. [I meant in the primary, obviously.]

Beaner: I don't think we should be talking about this.

Me: What, politics?

Beaner: Yeah. Ms. Erwin and Ms. Beck wouldn't like it.

Me: Oh. I didn't realize political discussions were banned at school.


While planting seeds in yogurt cups last Friday:

Me: Here, just pour a little water on the seed-starting mix and then stir like this, making sure to keep all the dirt in the bowl.

Beaner: I can do it, I know how. [Then, under his breath:] Because I know more than you do.

Me: I don't think so.

Beaner: What?

Me: I don't think you know more than I do.

Beaner: Yes I do. I know more than you.

Me: How old are you?

Beaner: Three.

Me: How old am I?

Beaner: Eighty?

Me: I'm 39. Which is *13 TIMES* older than you are. Do you think maybe that during the 13 years for every one you've lived I might have acquired some knowledge, perhaps knowledge that you do not have?

Beaner: Just because you're older doesn't mean you know more.

Me: Do you know how to read?

Beaner: No.

Me: OK, that's something right there that I know and you don't.

Al (later, when I relayed the conversation to him): You've got to stop trying to win these arguments.


This one was related to me by Aura, so I'm guessing at the actual dialog:

Aura: You've got something on your forehead.

Beaner: Don't you mean my threehead? Because I'm only three.

I should add that although he's perfectly aware of his actual age, he's been acting like a total teenager lately. I'm waiting for him to run to his room, slam the door, then open it up again to scream "I'M SAW-RYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" in a tone that plainly says, "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" At the rate we're going, it could happen any day now.

Posted by Lori in parenthood at 3:18 PM on April 10, 2008


Al's right. You've got to stop trying to win those arguments.

Threehead? Bwahahah!

You've just reminded me of something that happened this morning I meant to blog about...

Posted by: ratphooey [TypeKey Profile Page] at April 10, 2008 5:08 PM

Al has a point. :)

I love the conversations. And it's true, I can't remember how they play out five minutes after it ends. I want to carry a tape recorder around with me wherever I go. Because I'm missing the funny!

Posted by: lori at April 10, 2008 7:58 PM

Okay...after picking myself up off the floor from laughing so hard at these posts, I must say he is quite the sharpie! The fact that you talk with him (not "to him") as if he is not a child speaks volumes about his wit. The mumbling under the breath is classic! Oh, I'm HOPING this is his "teenage" stage so that you can get it out of the way already.

Posted by: Josie [TypeKey Profile Page] at April 11, 2008 10:54 AM

Oh, yeah...and the guessing of your age as eighty? Ouch!

Posted by: Josie [TypeKey Profile Page] at April 11, 2008 10:55 AM

ok, there are tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard at these conversations! :-) then I started reading them aloud to John and SPL and at the eighty part, I had to stop for a couple of minutes as I was laughing and crying.

Posted by: kathy howe at April 11, 2008 10:28 PM

HPR and I laughed out loud at your attempt to win the argument with Beaner (esp. Al's line). Hee!

Posted by: juliloquy at April 12, 2008 9:10 PM

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