Recent Conversations with the Beaner
The longer I wait to write about these random conversations I've had with the Beaner recently, the more likely I am to forget every damn one of them. Not even the notes I've been leaving myself on napkins and in my iPhone will help; "discussion of whether Thom Yorke is a Radiohead" is enough to make me recall him asking, but I can't remember the actual discussion, which is a shame.
During a visit to Trader Joe's after school last week:
Beaner: Can we get those cookies so I can bring them in for Snack & Flowers?
Me: It's not your turn to do Snack & Flowers, honey. You brought snack in the week before break.
Beaner: I know, but sometimes people bring in cookies when it isn't their turn.
Me: Are you sure? I think I'd like to check with Ms. Erwin first before we buy any cookies.
Beaner: I think we should buy the cookies now and check with Ms. Erwin later. That way we'll be ready.
While walking to school:
Beaner: <gasp!> Look, somebody ripped that Obama poster! Why did they do that?
Me: I'm not sure, honey. Are you an Obama supporter?
Me: The other choice would be Hillary Clinton. [I meant in the primary, obviously.]
Beaner: I don't think we should be talking about this.
Me: What, politics?
Beaner: Yeah. Ms. Erwin and Ms. Beck wouldn't like it.
Me: Oh. I didn't realize political discussions were banned at school.
While planting seeds in yogurt cups last Friday:
Me: Here, just pour a little water on the seed-starting mix and then stir like this, making sure to keep all the dirt in the bowl.
Beaner: I can do it, I know how. [Then, under his breath:] Because I know more than you do.
Me: I don't think so.
Me: I don't think you know more than I do.
Beaner: Yes I do. I know more than you.
Me: How old are you?
Me: How old am I?
Me: I'm 39. Which is *13 TIMES* older than you are. Do you think maybe that during the 13 years for every one you've lived I might have acquired some knowledge, perhaps knowledge that you do not have?
Beaner: Just because you're older doesn't mean you know more.
Me: Do you know how to read?
Me: OK, that's something right there that I know and you don't.
Al (later, when I relayed the conversation to him): You've got to stop trying to win these arguments.
This one was related to me by Aura, so I'm guessing at the actual dialog:
Aura: You've got something on your forehead.
Beaner: Don't you mean my threehead? Because I'm only three.
I should add that although he's perfectly aware of his actual age, he's been acting like a total teenager lately. I'm waiting for him to run to his room, slam the door, then open it up again to scream "I'M SAW-RYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" in a tone that plainly says, "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" At the rate we're going, it could happen any day now.