Just Ignore Me. I Get Like This Sometimes.

I am SO off the (wagon|rails) with my eating. All the resolutions I make upon waking up each morning have been broken by 11am, which means those of you who'll be seeing me in San Francisco next week will be seeing someone who's at the high end of her "normal" weight range (as opposed to decidedly fat, thank god; that would be 10lbs. northward of where I am now). It's rather unlikely that I'll be at my goal weight by next Wednesday.

The fact that I'm about 4 pounds (I know! a mere 4 pounds!) heavier than I was when I got pregnant four years ago, and 6 pounds heavier than I really like to be, seems like it shouldn't be that big a deal. But despite working out regularly, having back muscles that impressed my massage therapist at my last visit, and actual arm muscles for like the first time EVER, I'm a little annoyed at my body. What the hell happened to my middle? It's blobby in a way that usually happens at that point 10lbs. northward of here.

I'd blame it on having borne a child... except that less than a year after giving birth, I fit right back into the clothes I'd worn before I got pregnant. Those clothes do not fit me now, due to this blobby middle and what appears to be a slightly larger ass and thighs.

Right now, I have two theories about why my old clothes no longer fit:

  1. I've gained muscle in my hips, thighs, and butt from playing hockey HARD twice a week, without losing any fat in those areas (due to a high chocolate consumption rate).
  2. I'm getting old.

The fact that it usually hurts to climb stairs for two days after hockey indicates that I'm definitely getting a heavy-duty lower-body workout, which is where theory #1 comes from. I wouldn't give up hockey just to stay thin, and honestly, I'm thrilled that my legs are so powerful (ka-zam!), so #1 is more a source of pride than embarrassment. Anyone who wants to tell me I have a fat ass now can kiss it.

Theory #2 would account for the blobby middle, and frankly, it pisses me off. My stomach is the last place I gain weight (hips, thighs, and face all come before it), so I'm not used to waistbands digging into my gut. The pressure on my stomach would be bad enough on its own if it weren't also a reminder that I'm turning 40 this year. Forty seemed kind of cool when I considered that I didn't look 40 (in my humble opinion, of course, and apparently that of the neighbor who mistook me for my son's babysitter) or feel particularly old. Now, thanks to the love handles and uncomfortable waistbands, I'm starting to feel my age. The question is, would I also start to look my age if I wore yoga pants all the time to relieve the pressure?

I was about to end this post right there, but it just occurred to me that the painful post-hockey climbing of stairs may not be an indication of a great thigh- and butt-building workout, but rather further evidence of #2. Crap.

Posted by Lori in food and me, me, me at 3:58 PM on July 9, 2008

Comments (2)

We are getting old.



I'm in the same boat, can't wait to waddle off to breakfast with you next week! ;-)


We are getting old.


Posted by: ratphooey [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 9, 2008 4:46 PM

I'm in the same boat, can't wait to waddle off to breakfast with you next week! ;-)

Posted by: Kristin at July 10, 2008 5:38 PM

Comments are now closed.