avocado8

A Buttload of Beaner

Yes, yes, I know, I haven't written the school post yet. I'm totally overloaded with writing a spec for my feature and two presentations for MAX, plus life in general. So why am I pausing to write this post now? Because it'll be quick (unlike the school post, which requires some more organized thinking), because I haven't written here in a long time, because I know you're all dying for some Beaner news, and because he's been dishing up the cute (and the combative) like crazy lately.

I really need to gather up all the notebooks and post-it notes in/on which I've written random things he's said or sung, because man, they're hilarious. Like the time he started singing his usual chorus of She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain as he marched around the dining room-kitchen-entryway loop, but then switched to, "I'll be reading on the couch when she comes... I'll be reading on the couch when she comes... I'll be reading on the couch, I'll be reading on the couch, I'll be reading on the couch when she comes!" He'd apparently picked up a book on one of his loops, because he then headed up the stairs to the living room, plopped himself on the couch, and started flipping through it.

Lately the Beaner has been obsessed with Steve from Blues Clues, to the extent that Al and I have been thinking of dressing him as Steve for Halloween. Consequently, we've been on the lookout for a green striped shirt. Apparently the Beaner has been, too—or else the green-and-blue striped shirt Al bought for him at the Children's Place Outlet set him off. Ever since, he's talked of nothing but green striped shirts. I'd already gotten him a green shirt with thin blue stripes, but apparently this wasn't good enough until we went in search of more striped options, and he spotted the same shirt in the store; when I told him it was the shirt I'd been trying to get him to wear every day for a week, he went, "oh" and put it on the next day. We now have no less than five variations on green striped shirts, but none exactly like Steve's. I hear eBay calling.

I hadn't talked to my parents in a while, so I called them up this evening and put the Beaner on the phone. He told them he was at home, with Mommy and Daddy; that he'd had a good day at school; that school was pretty fun. Then, out of nowhere, he offered this gem: "My mommy is called Lori, and my daddy is called Honey."

Tonight we were snuggling, and he asked me about the name of the man who works at the school. Mr. K______, I said, "the man who feeds the snake." It occurred to me then that maybe that wasn't such a good subject; his teacher had told us that the class pet was a snake, but that the kids would never see it eat. She planned to tell them, if they asked, that Mr. K fed it on the weekends. I had that in mind when I blurted out "the man who feeds the snake," but of course I didn't anticipate the next logical question, which was, "what does the snake eat?" Oops. Quick, change the subject!

No matter; the Beaner did it for me. "What's the snake's name?" he asked. I replied that he would need to tell me (this time, thankfully, I did not add what I was thinking, that his teacher had told us that the snake's name was Nagini, but that she'd be changing it). "It's Chase," he said, and then squealed, "S begins with yes!" which of course for me was a total non-sequitur. "Chase begins with 'ch'," I said, making the chuh sound. "Chuh?" he said. "Yep, chuh. You know what else begins with chuh? CHEESE!" I immediately tried to think of other "ch" words, while he repeated "CHEESE!"

"Checkers!"

"Checkers! I don't like checkers." [pause] "Peaches!"

"Interesting! Peaches doesn't begin with 'chuh', it begins with P, 'puh'— but there's a 'chuh' in the middle! Oh, I know, CHICKEN!"

"Chicken!" [pause while we both think] "And chair!"

"Cherry!"

"Wow, that was a good one! I'm not sure if you know this word, but it's a game: chess.

"Like Jess?"

"Yes, like Jess, only with a 'chuh' instead of a 'juh'."

"Stop saying the words now."

And about 30 seconds later, he was asleep.

(OK, that took longer than I thought. Back to the spec!)