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Gap Tall Has Failed Me

I feel like Goldilocks, in search of the perfect t-shirt. WHY is it SO HARD to find something that won't leave my ass crack exposed when I sit (or my belly button exposed when I stand, for that matter) while at the same time being flattering? Is my waist so long, my tits so small, and my ass so big that there is no happy medium to be found anywhere? There has to be something between this:

this t-shirt is TOO SHORT (it's an XL)

And this:

this t-shirt is TOO LONG (it's a L from Gap Tall)

Besides this:

this t-shirt is JUST RIGHT (but it makes me look like a 13 year-old boy)

I mean, come ON.

Posted by Lori in fashion statements at 3:17 PM on May 16, 2007

Comments (10)

girlfiend:

The brown shirt isn't unflattering but it does sort of resemble something a Hollywood starlet would wear as a dress.

Posted by girlfiend | May 16, 2007 4:11 PM

Posted on May 16, 2007 16:11

Lori [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Yes, that was my impression as well -- that it *almost* worked as a dress, but not quite. You should have seen the striped one, though. Good lord, I love me some horizontal stripes, but NOT ACROSS MY ASS.

Posted by Lori [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 16, 2007 4:17 PM

Posted on May 16, 2007 16:17

madge:

Old Navy's Perfect Fit Tees are extra long this season. They are longer than my Gap maternity tees (some of my tall friends use these as non-maternity tees). Don't know how flattering they are, though...

Posted by madge | May 16, 2007 9:33 PM

Posted on May 16, 2007 21:33

Lori [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Thanks for the tip! I got thinking after I wrote this post that if the Talls are this long, maybe the regular-fit stuff would actually fit me. :) I will test this theory when I return these items to my local Gap store, and I will check out Old Navy, too.

Posted by Lori [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 16, 2007 9:52 PM

Posted on May 16, 2007 21:52

Josie [TypeKey Profile Page]:

"Is my waist so long, my tits so small, and my ass so big that there is no happy medium to be found anywhere?" - Okay, I've stopped laughing...

You know, I remember once in college you described yourself as having cleavage you could drive a mack truck through! Unfortunately, I don't have any suggestions for you (although I agree with Madge that Old Navy's shirts do seem to be getting longer) unless you want to start wearing those jeans that sit at your natural waist (shiver!). Let's wait for that until we're much older...

Posted by Josie [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 17, 2007 1:08 PM

Posted on May 17, 2007 13:08

leahpeah:

my daughter told me it's so uncool to have your belly showing right now. it's just, like, not done, ok? i suggest you take all of those and layer them. my daughter had on 4 shirts the other day. FOUR. and they were exquisitely layered.

Posted by leahpeah | May 20, 2007 3:00 PM

Posted on May 20, 2007 15:00

Lori [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I suspected as much, based on what the teens and twentysomethings are wearing right now, and I think it would be uncool to show *my* belly in any case. :) Layering is a good idea -- I just need to figure out how to do it effectively, especially in the heat and humidity of a Philly summer, with clothes that barely fit in *single* layers!

Posted by Lori [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 20, 2007 9:50 PM

Posted on May 20, 2007 21:50

juliloquy [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I wonder if American Apparel would have anything of the appropriate length. A lot of their stuff is thin so good for layering.

Posted by juliloquy [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 21, 2007 11:20 AM

Posted on May 21, 2007 11:20

Lori [TypeKey Profile Page]:

My only issue with American Apparel is that all their stuff runs tiny -- XLs barely fit me. I'll check out the layering possibilities next time I'm in the downtown store, tho. :)

Posted by Lori [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 21, 2007 11:31 AM

Posted on May 21, 2007 11:31

Twinmama [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I have the same problem. I usually go with #2, and hack it off with pinking shears if it really is too long. Too long is better than too short. Also, American Apparel...ha ha ha. IMHO only midgets (rich midgets!) can wear their clothes. I am stocking up on the longer Old Navy stuff.

Posted by Twinmama [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 22, 2007 12:38 AM

Posted on May 22, 2007 00:38

Comments

The brown shirt isn't unflattering but it does sort of resemble something a Hollywood starlet would wear as a dress.

Posted by: girlfiend at May 16, 2007 4:11 PM

Yes, that was my impression as well -- that it *almost* worked as a dress, but not quite. You should have seen the striped one, though. Good lord, I love me some horizontal stripes, but NOT ACROSS MY ASS.

Posted by: Lori [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 16, 2007 4:17 PM

Old Navy's Perfect Fit Tees are extra long this season. They are longer than my Gap maternity tees (some of my tall friends use these as non-maternity tees). Don't know how flattering they are, though...

Posted by: madge at May 16, 2007 9:33 PM

Thanks for the tip! I got thinking after I wrote this post that if the Talls are this long, maybe the regular-fit stuff would actually fit me. :) I will test this theory when I return these items to my local Gap store, and I will check out Old Navy, too.

Posted by: Lori [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 16, 2007 9:52 PM

"Is my waist so long, my tits so small, and my ass so big that there is no happy medium to be found anywhere?" - Okay, I've stopped laughing...

You know, I remember once in college you described yourself as having cleavage you could drive a mack truck through! Unfortunately, I don't have any suggestions for you (although I agree with Madge that Old Navy's shirts do seem to be getting longer) unless you want to start wearing those jeans that sit at your natural waist (shiver!). Let's wait for that until we're much older...

Posted by: Josie [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 17, 2007 1:08 PM

my daughter told me it's so uncool to have your belly showing right now. it's just, like, not done, ok? i suggest you take all of those and layer them. my daughter had on 4 shirts the other day. FOUR. and they were exquisitely layered.

Posted by: leahpeah at May 20, 2007 3:00 PM

I suspected as much, based on what the teens and twentysomethings are wearing right now, and I think it would be uncool to show *my* belly in any case. :) Layering is a good idea -- I just need to figure out how to do it effectively, especially in the heat and humidity of a Philly summer, with clothes that barely fit in *single* layers!

Posted by: Lori [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 20, 2007 9:50 PM

I wonder if American Apparel would have anything of the appropriate length. A lot of their stuff is thin so good for layering.

Posted by: juliloquy [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 21, 2007 11:20 AM

My only issue with American Apparel is that all their stuff runs tiny -- XLs barely fit me. I'll check out the layering possibilities next time I'm in the downtown store, tho. :)

Posted by: Lori [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 21, 2007 11:31 AM

I have the same problem. I usually go with #2, and hack it off with pinking shears if it really is too long. Too long is better than too short. Also, American Apparel...ha ha ha. IMHO only midgets (rich midgets!) can wear their clothes. I am stocking up on the longer Old Navy stuff.

Posted by: Twinmama [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 22, 2007 12:38 AM

Comments are now closed.



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